This is the final excerpt of Making Love To God, my memoir of Divine Union and contemporary spiritual relationship. The series began on July 29, 2008, with the Introduction and Chapter One.
You may resonate with the material more powerfully if you follow it in order; all posts are categorized in the Making Love To God category in the sidebar to your right. If you’ve been following the series, you may have noted that the format interweaves the mystical spiritual journey (The Awakening, The Invitation, The Dark Night, The Unfolding, Peace Everlasting) with the more earthly journey of spiritual relationship (identified by numbered chapters).
May we all find the courage to strip away anything that separates ourselves from our own Divinity
Author’s Note: I have relied on the words God, Goddess, Creation, Divine, Jesus, and Beloved to represent energy that is inherently indefinable. Interpretation lies with the reader.
from Making Love To God
by Rachel Snyder
Divine love is a vessel.
No matter what ingredients are placed inside, the vessel does not change form. It can hold water one day and wine the next. Bliss one afternoon followed by unremitting angst that same evening. The well-crafted vessel holds all.
In a holy triad, the vessel’s holding capacity far exceeds that found in relationships lacking the spiritual imperative: Here, the vessel reflects the unlimited and eternal essence of God. The commitment that two people make to each other pales beside the conjoined commitment to invite Divinity into every aspect of the union. This level of commitment lies not in the details, but in the energy surrounding them.
My lover and I struggled with the details for more than five years before we were fully able to embrace the wisdom of following energy rather than form. Old, learned habits invaded our minds and concretized into unconscious actions that pulled us magnetlike into downward spirals and left us bitter and spent.
We were quick to rely on our default mode of seeing all in polarity. Either we were mismatched, dysfunctional love addicts hellbent on creating conflict and tragic drama — or we were spiritual pioneers of a new paradign of love, courageously navigating an intimacy for which neither of us possessed models nor guideposts.
Together, we were unable to create a vessel large enough to hold the energy and passion that lives between us. Our hungers and hearts are immense, marked by an urgency borne out of decades of holding back and playing small. Time and again, attempts to carry ourselves aloft inevitably crashed — but not for want of trying nor for lack of deep and committed love.
Our efforts to fit an earthly template over our spiritual marriage eventually led us to a greater place of co-creation. We raised ourselves out of the muck of our own stories and tired conversations, and joined in holy union with Creation itself. Here, peace visited us with joy and delight.
We no longer looked solely to each other for sustenance through sickness and health, richer or poorer, but rested comfortably in the power of the greater glory of God. We felt the stress drain out of our bodies, knowing that we were cradled in a vessel so much greater, stronger and more powerful than the two of us. We eased up on life, knowing that our own inner resources were backed up by the Infinite. Our vision of being together forever took on a new dimension, as we saw forever in every moment.
Nothing less than Divinity can offer the boundlessness that awakening hearts now demand. Human bodies, minds and spirits are connecting and reconnecting in ways never before seen. Old, cracked vessels that have been glued and reglued must crumble and give way to new, energetic vessels of shimmering light.
The Divine earthly love that you desire does exist — in a holy menage a trois that joins you, your earthly beloved, and your God. There is where you will find love without end.
The Glory, the Holy, the Passion of Love.
In the midst of the All and the Nothing, Love.
Ravished before Dawn.
Before my eyes opened, before the last sprinkle of dreaming had escaped. Before the world took me, God took me. Peach-rose sky, faintly glowing with the upward reaching of the sun. And into the room danced Joy. Twinkling, purring, radiating Joy, encompassing the Whole of the Moment, Everlasting.
How warm His touch, gliding over me, releasing the faint scent of myrrh and the sweetness of summer blossom. Roused by angels, I am taken into light and the light becomes me. For there is the Be-All, the Be-All, the All-Being of the Divine.
Can you but imagine it?
Can you expand far enough, deep enough, wide enough to wrap your true self around this? Surely you do not turn away, for whoever turns from the Light but turns into the darkness. And therein you will not find your Beloved. Where darkness resides you cannot be, will not be, penetrated by the Light of morning and evening eternal.
How then would you choose?
Ripples of peace await you, ready to infuse your spirit for all time. He waits no longer, stealing into your dreaming time and leaving not. For what do you wait? Until what moment do you hesitate – choosing what sharp shard of darkness hanging over your head?
You need do nothing, say nothing. Your Lover knows All and will lead you with a gentle lullaby. What of the world can offer but a crumb for the starving? You starve not, for by simply opening your mouth you receive the everlasting Kiss of God.
Right now, relax your hold, let go, and with but a simple parting of the veil, you are Home. Drink in the nectar your Lover’s tongue provides, for it is surely sweeter than the full juice of Summer herself.
Can you not see that the pathway to eternal glory lies at your feet? What thin gauze yet shields you from the very vision you were created to behold? Tear it away slowly, without haste, and feel the glow overtake you. Worry not, your Beloved cradles you and calms the tremor of fear within. Surrender, sweet child, for there is nothing left to hold onto. Let go and feel the firm rock beneath you. Herein is your security, herein lies your comfort and release from fear.
O Sweet Beloved, what tears of Joy melt me now! For I am being whirled and twirled in a maelstrom of Divinity wherein Eros holds court and you are Lord over all. How can it be that for so long I turned away from this dripping sweetness of delight, content to limit my self to the dark ways of the falsehood?
For here and only here, in the secret pleasures of your kindness, lives the truth. And all I need do is pluck one petal to pour out the treasures locked within. The key is mine and always has been so. There is no magic door, no cryptic spell, save the opening of the Eternal Heart. And only then do you enter, filling me with a purity of Love and Spirit and Divine intention, raising me to a golden temple of Heaven on Earth.
And there I dwell, placed lovingly on skins and silks, awaiting the moment that never was, always is, and cannot end.
– The End –