a starseed confession

i confess that i do not feel native
to this blue-green orb
and i confess that nonetheless
i have come to appreciate my earthly existence
the gentle dance of rain upon my skin
trembling fingers entwined in my own
the splendor of ripened fruit fresh from the tree

i confess that much of my life has been marked by alienation
that i have been judged and misunderstood
and seemingly set aside as i sought to bring my very essence to light
and i confess even so
that persecution has never wholly trumped passion
doubt has visited yet rarely unpacked
i have stumbled and fallen yet faith never failed to gather me up

this i willingly confess:
my unleashed spirit has more than once led me into agreements i could not sustain
broken hearts including my own were left in the wake of disunity
i am no stranger to a well-barbed lure
and if nets were tossed by my own hand
i confess i was merely seeking nourishment
beneath the froth that scutters the surface of the everyday

this i tell you now:
many a night have i spent in the company of my own wounding
and for every moment i lingered in the light of love
i thrashed in the darkness ten moments more
many a temple i entered in sanctuary and divine grace
draped in silk and carried upon the backs of wing-ed beings
until my return to a landscape unadorned by the sacred and beset by suffering

i confess that even while imprisoned by forces large and powerful
i feathered a nest and brooded my own becoming
held myself close and embraced the never-ending wait
that even now crawls as a snail to its holy destination
i confess that even though my words carry a hint of melancholia
a peace resides at their core that transcends the unnecessary
that washes over me in an endless shower of emergent truth

i confess that with choice in hand
and heart broached beyond all measure real and imagined
given a choice to dance in the light or preen in the darkness
i will always choose the road home
and in that comfort find the everlasting solace i confess i oft felt was out of reach
yet even now in the waning days of discomfiture
i confess i have always known that illusion would in time dim and die

and that time, i confess,
has arrived
bearing gifts for the unheard
and fresh regard for the not-seen.

7 thoughts

  1. Andrea
    Your comment is generous and most appreciated. Your courage to feel is a beautiful thing. (((())))

    Dear Akasa
    Your presence and your words are beautiful reminders that true family has nothing whatsoever to do with blood or generational lineage.(((())))

    Ben
    Would you feel slighted if, in response to your comment, I directed you to my reply to Akasa (above)? Surely not, my spiritbrother… (((())))

    Leslie
    Yet another spiritfamily member heard from. Thank you, Sweet One. xoxo((()))xoxo

    James
    You are very welcome. From where I sit, your words too are “beautiful, touching, poignant and true.” (((())))

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    1. Rachel, I would not in the least, My feeling have been tempered by love over many years and now they are a thing of joy to be shared. <3

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  2. Thank you Dear Rachel…for singing the Song of this life here as no one else can. Thank you for BEing such an exquisite mirror of That…and giving hope that this unbearable illusion will in time dim and die.

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  3. Thank you Rachel, I too can feel the feelings in this poem for at times they were mine as well. Bless you, you shared your path a path that I travel as well. I now feel the peace and joy as home gets closer. <3

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  4. Dearest Rachel…

    My Sweet SoulStar Sister, just when I begin to think I am all alone on the planet with no one who understands/comprehends, I am reminded yet again, that someone, (you), does. Illusion does give way and for this I remain in deep gratitude to you for being able to pen what my heart, my soul longs for…
    Cascading and Radiant Blessings Beloved,
    Akasa

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  5. You are a gifted healer to see so fully to our guilt and pain and come out hopeful in the end. Yes, I too have learn to have fresh regard for the unseen!
    Thanks Rachel! You give me ever greater courage to feel….

    Like

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