personal declaration of radical responsibility

Prairie Child, 1926, woodcut, Helen West Heller

for everything now fallen away
i bear responsibility

for every delicious return to the table of earthly delights
every soul-numbing morsel of dispossession inhaled, imbibed,
every dark and slithery corner into which i stumbled
and every moonlit mesa i traveled in the company of the all-knowing sky,
i tell you now that i held the key,
i turned the lock,
and this I lay at the feet of no one
save myself

if I was led astray by so-called inner and outer dragons
i know that in ways i need no longer understand,
i invited them all to the party
turned a blind eye and deaf ear to willful discernment
cracked a door here, a transom there in entry bidden,
laid rose petals along a twisted path to entice the screeching hordes

though I no longer feel it essential
to root out the whys and wherefores
amid the bulrushes of understanding,
i know that when i allow it, i create it
when i create it, i experience it
from beneath the labyrinthian corridors of my mind
nestled within ribboned valleys of an upheaving heart,
the choice to choose has always been mine
and I ask no one to bear responsibility for the outcome but my self
however, whatever,
i acknowledge that organism to be

if self-healing needed to occur,
i lifted the scalpel of becoming
stepped onto the wheel and commenced to spiral,
divorced from the clattering that surrounded me
i dove deeply into foggy madness,
whirled to and fro by shifting sands of consciousness,
i turned my back on fear, tuned out the labored breathing at my heels,
and instead approached with temerity an array of gold-juiced apples
hung profuse in forests lush, forgiving

if someone left knotted ropes and tethers on the basement floor
and headed up the mountain on a fool’s errand,
that someone was me
if the music of wings sounded across the heavens
it originated from within me and my errant flock of origami cranes,
unfolding in freefall as we came to rest on feather-soft mounds,
exhausted remains of grasped and grasping determination

and thus, when I soared beyond the valley of niggardly scraps
i had come to accept in dilute resolution
i approached the temple of the sun beholden to none but the all,
humbled into stature noble, uncompromised
and ready to reclaim in great joy
that birthright that had rested in a room without walls
since before the seeds of time were sown

thus it shall be known
that i bear responsibility
for all things fallen away and all things made new
and this i lay at the feet of no other

15 thoughts

  1. Tomas,
    Thank you for your visit, and for reblogging to your heartflow2012 family. You and your friends are renewing my faith that now, more than ever, is time for my poetry and the vibration it carries. Grateful to you…

    You are welcome! I have always felt that the words are as a “carrier oil” for the essence and frequency that are contained in each poem. Blessings…

    Many thanks for your kind words. It is a joy to see you here at Be Whole Now.

    It pleases me deeply that you found powerful resonance as well as some measure of release within my words. I have long viewed “my” writing as activators that can bypass the brain and go directly to the heart of one who is ready to “hear” in that way.


  2. Magnificent Rachel — this took me on a tour of accountability for some of the twists and turns, slimy pits of unconsciousness, doors and transoms left open “innocently” in my own life and allowed me to forgive and release a few more pieces of now unessential baggage accumulated along my path. Brava! Keep it coming!


  3. “and this I lay at the feet of no one
    save myself”
    I am letting this one sink in more deeply. How easily I forget to true myself on myself. thank you for the powerful reminder. I am re-blogging this to my Heartflow2012 – with your permission.
    with Gratitude, Tomas


  4. Stopped me in my tracks, this one! Thank you for shining your unapologetic spotlight into the dark corners.. As always…xoxo


  5. G.A. Scattergood-Moore,
    Please accept my apology for not linking your image appropriately. In hindsight, I remember that I discovered fascinating information about Helen West Heller on two different sites, and could not figure out how to link them both. I usually am quite scrupulous with links to featured images, but slipped up on this occasion. I appreciate your Comments and the links you offer here.


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