what doesn’t matter now (audio poetry 3:35)

i remember not so very long ago
ruminating incessantly over the minutiae of acceptance
unsought opinions promulgated at the speed of unlashed light ~
they rushed to assign value to my very existence
etched and eternal in unwashed stone

perhaps i have become forgetful,
i feel quite certain it doesn’t matter now

up many a mountain i labored
ballast of unclear origin strapped to my back,
it became all-important for me to release my arrows at full throttle
and head straight toward the heavens,
i worked without a net, fearing its presence
might bespeak a lingering cowardice ~
it felt unseemly to arrive with knees scraped and bloody

yet somehow,
it doesn’t much matter now

unlocked shackles crumple in corners i will not navigate again ~
outdated maps, manuals of antiquity litter the meadow, line the shore,
nothing i once so fervently believed can serve me now!
not one step begs to be retraced
not one foregone conclusion stands,
the promise of crumbs no longer arouses my ravenous desire ~
my fingers yearn to tickle upon ivory
and still the quiverings of my bleating heart

all about, the outmoded sprawls in ruin
beckons us to wander among the smolder
and lay to rest all urge to repair what can never be made whole again ~
every skyscraper erected as a temple to driven self-importance
is in the throes of collapse,
the top-heavy buckle and keel over in contorted anguish
the invitation to suffer and slave
should never have found its way to your doorstep

me, mine, more, meh ~
in the pungency of the unfolding All,
so little seems to matter now